Guest Post By Akash Gautam
I have been a stickler for being on my own, even before the internet and all the listicles made it so very popular. Yup! Knowing the value of being on my own and doing things by me has been one major reason for my little success as a Motivational Speaker & Corporate Trainer in India. As I look back in retrospect; had I had an army of dependencies; for my emotional & work needs- I trust me would not have been able to travel even 25% of the distance that I did in last 15 years.
Let me tell you why I love that part of my life:
1. It will make you feel so good!
You’ll never ever feel good about your own self; if you are a jumping jack with your restless mind along with its thousands of uncontrolled thoughts always at the mercy of other people.
Ever since I have understood how to figure out things on my own, I have tried to figure out things on my own. See it is simple – ‘When you determine to do something that you know is absolutely right, go through with it at any cost; without seeking approvals & gratifications of people around’. If it happens right; they themselves will become your brand ambassadors. This will give your wisdom guided will power more power for things in future.
No, it does not mean that you should not seek help! God no. Seek help. Seek help from people who are good and who are experts at what you need help with. But let me tell you – they will only help you when they are convinced that you simply seek opinion and that you are not going to offload all of it on them i.e. you won’t become a pest to them.
And it will make you feel so good that you won’t stop just because someone said NO to you!
2. You won’t be at anyone’s mercy.
Most people live at the periphery. They are seeking approbations & are always basing their own speeds in life at the mercy of others actions, moods & conveniences.
Need to get some stuff done? Develop the habit and the courage to go get it yourself. No more being dependent on any of your friends or family members.
It may sound like a seemingly simple point but you would be surprised to know how often people live on someone else’s whims and fancies. When you start doing things by yourself, the only person you will be at beck and call for – is your own self.
Trust me, that’s such a wonderful thing to have achieved. And the best part- it soon becomes a habit & then when it becomes a habit; you will roar.
3. The only person you will need during crisis is yourself
Correction – the most important person. Of course you will have your best friends and family along with you. But you won’t be emotionally & physically dependent on anyone. You will be strong enough to figure out what to do and then do it on your own.
Let not any crisis break you down and impediment you because of want of people who can help you out. Seek opinion and seek direction alright. But ultimately, the walk will have to be yours.
And when you start doing things by yourself, taking that walk becomes so much more easier. And gratifying. Everyday is a fresh opportunity on the part of your will to perform more & more exploits of heroism & develop a stellar will power.
4. You will become an inspiration
Yes, you will start inspiring all those people you have known who have always been afraid to take initiative in life. And I think that’s a very gratifying and huge achievement – to be able to convince someone to not be afraid and to make them understand that they have it in themselves to take on life on their own.
Because, when you stop being afraid, that effect spills over to the people nearby and faraway… It may not sound like such a big deal, but the feeling of being able to do anything, is such an exonerating one that it is difficult to put in words. The more you savor this feeling; the more you will end up refining your awareness about life progressively. But remember- for this to happen you’ll need to put in your mightiest efforts.
5. That sense of independence is amazing!
Imagine not having an elder accompany you every time you travel or need something done. Imagine just being ready to go all the time, for whenever there is need. Imagine not needing company to catch your favorite movie or play or going for a ride.
Doing things by yourself will not only make you independent of company compulsion but also make you enjoy your alone time – which is so very important that I cannot stress enough on it. Doing things that you enjoy doing by yourself gives you perspective about who you are. It is a great opportunity to introspect and look within.
And I can say this after years of being a Motivational Speaker and Corporate Trainer – that sometimes, having company is such an overrated thing. All we really need is a little solitude. Trust me, you will find a lot of inspiration in your own self, if only you care to look deep enough!
So, this is why I love doing things by myself. And I am nowhere saying that socializing is bad. My only concern is – that if we always choose being social over our own individualism and give in every time to the pressure of being in a company, we will slowly degrade. For only in solitude, does one get to come face to face with what they truly are – behind that social mask!
So, seek company, but also seek solitude. And the courage to be on your own. And do things on your own. For there is no better way to fall in love with life, than exploring it with the one person you are going to spend the whole of your life with – yourself!
Author Bio: Akash Gautam is a top Motivational Speaker in Asia. He has more than 16yrs of experience as a public speaker, writer & career counsellor. He is known for his comic & sarcastic style as a speaker. He believes that he is an ardent student of life and learning. Know much more about him by clicking here.